Funny Horse Names for Night at the Races

If you want to skip to fun TB names, it's okay.

The naming of things
When I bought Harvey, his name was "Sody" -- which was bad enough, I thought, until I learned his Jockey Club racing name: Sotally Tober. I renamed him Harvey in honor of the Jimmy Stewart movie (it was on TV the night the owners decided to sell him to me). I chose the name Harvard for his show name, which in retrospect is a little pretentious. I like names that are simple: Theatrical, Wishful, Mystify, Sinatra, etc.
Later, when we started competing at recognized shows, Harv showed that he could hold his own -- at least at the lower levels -- with the big-moving warmbloods. I joked about changing his name to Why Pay More?

Racehorse names
Racehorse owners seem to care about names, too, and they like to get creative. Sometimes a bit too creative--like the British horse named Hoof Hearted (watch the video or say it fast a few times), or the 1983 American Thoroughbred named Wrecked Em. A recent lawsuit that made the news concerned poor taste in naming a thoroughbred. The Jockey Club oversees and regulates the naming of horses. It's a hard thing to follow all the rules and there is even a company, Thoroughbred Naming Specialists, that will do it for you. The list of rules is long, but a few of their verbotens are...

• Names consisting of more than 18 letters
• Initials such as C.O.D., F.O.B., etc.
• Names of persons unless written permission to use their name
• Names of "famous" people no longer living (w/o approval from JC)
• Names of "notorious" people.
• Names clearly having commercial significance, such as trade names.
• Copyrighted material
• Names that are suggestive or have a vulgar/obscene meaning, or are offensive.

Fun Thoroughbred names
You can browse or search active names at the JC Online Names Book. Here are a few names, anecdotes about racehorse names that I culled from the resources below...

• A Simpsons episode featured Bart and his adventures with a race horse named Duncan. While they were at the track you could hear the announcer calling a race, and one of the horses was named Chockfullodrugs.
  
• The shortest racehorse name in history is 'I' who raced in Argentina.


• At an Australian racetrack, three horses broke away from the pack at the half-way mark. The horses were Nobody, Nearest and Nothing. The announcer called, "Nobody is Nearest to Nothing," and the crowd erupted in laughter.


• Names are often derived from the parents.
  • Yes It's True is by Is It True
  • East of Reality by Proper Reality out of Far East
  • The filly Shopaholic is out of A Girl Needs Cash
  • Greenie is by Naturalism out of Ozone Friendly
  • Braless is by Showoff II out of Snuggles
  • Lip Gloss is out of Pucker Lips
  • Youcan'tteachheart by Lionheart out of Backwoods Teacher
  • Emotional Ending by End Sweep out of Gina's Temper
  • Watamichoppedliver by Chopper Charlie out of Libber and Onions
  • Blondeinamotel was sired by Bates Motel
  • Reignforest by Forestry, out of Golden Princess
  • No Slow Dancing by Slow Fuse out of Dancing Kate
  • Nosupeforyou by Super Fortunate
  
  


• One name is a reference to the 18 character limit on a racing name: Eighteencharacters.
  


• A lot of them are pretty sexist:
  • Oliver Klozov
  • Sexy Walk
  • Short Skirt Flirt
  • Yes No Yes
  • Date More Minors
  • No Fat Chicks
  • Bodacious Ta Ta's
  • She can't say no
  • OHBEEGEEWHYEN
  • She's Easy
  • Shefoggedmyglasses
  
  


• Drinking-related names abound, but here are a few:
  • Anita Cocktail
  • Plastered, out of a mare called Tipples
  • Drink me pretty
  • Sheikh'nnotstirred
  • Alcohol-related
  • and of course Sotally Tober.
  
  


• As a librarian, I love these:
  • Sexy Librarian.
  • Library Flirt
  • Studious by Muttering out of Fast Study
  • She's Well Red by an Illiterate son out of Red Journey
  • In the Library out of United Scholar
  • Search Engine
  • Study Hard out of Learning Curve
  • Sensible Shoes
  
  


• Some made it through the checks and balances for obscenity:
  • Hardawn
  • Golden Showers
  • Cunning Stunt
  • Pleasure Me
  • Girls On Top
  • Ménage Á Trois
  • Strip Teaser
  • Rhythm Method
  • Jail Bait
  • Tit'n Your Girdle
  • Panty Raid
  
  


• Some are basically jokes, at the expense of the horse:
  • No Speed No Feed out of No Pay No Hay
  • Lags Behind
  • Stake or Steak
  • theotherwhitemeat
  • Lame Jane
  • Not a Role Model
  • Hairball
  • Badly Bred
  • Check My Pulse out of Heart's Rythm
  • Chicken Lips
  • High Eena by High Brite out of Ameena
  • Really Bad News
  • Government Mule
  • Spineless Jellyfish
  
  


• Others are just plain fun:
  • Forty dollar bra
  • Stud Finder
  • Hairy Potter
  • Hello Newman
  • Thefunhasarrived
  • Credit Limit by Spendabuck
  • Shewhomustbeobeyed
  • Chicks dig me
  • Mean Butterbean
  • Notsoquietamerican
  • Redhotfillypepper
  • Spookaroo
  • Jello is Jiggling
  • No Stinking Badges
  • No Bettor Love
  • Redundantredundant
    
  
  
• Some seem to have a story behind them...
  • Reallyneededitback
  • Dont Choke the Cat
  • Reduced Sentence
  • Acid Reflux
  • Reptilian Smarts
  • Semi True Story
  • Full of Skittles
  • Senior Discount
  • Don't Buddy Me
  • Cerebral Concrete
  • Uhmm Alot
  • But Your Honor

Articles on racehorse names

Weird racehorse names
http://www.horsewyse.com.au/oddspots.html

The Science of Naming a Racehorse (NPR audio file)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4634884

Why are racehorse names traditionally so weird?
http://archives.stupidquestion.net/sq111501.html

Suggestive racehorse names are hilarious
http://100percentinjuryrate.blogspot.com/2007/10/suggestive-racehorse-names-are.html

That's Horseshit: Why you can't give your Thoroughbred an obscene name.
http://www.slate.com/id/2174794

ScrollEquus names list (excellent!)
http://scrollsequus.blogspot.com/2008/02/noteworthy-names.html

Nags and wags of naming rites
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/10/29/1098992286897.html?from=storylhs

Why do racehorses have such unusual names?
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mhorsename.htm

Thoroughbred Naming Specialists Special Reports
http://thoroughbrednamingspecialists.com/special_reports.html

gundersoncyricionsien.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.behindthebitblog.com/2008/04/thoroughbred-racing-naming-of-horses.html

Share this post